Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wish I only lived at night.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
