question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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