Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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