week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
