she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
