Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
