East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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