Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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