Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize