Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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