But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
