Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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