remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
