he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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