addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize