He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
