but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize