Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize