ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
you never un-have a 4some
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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