i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
