Fuck appropriateness.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
