return my video game
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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