I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
