pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
