who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
