Do you still have your period?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize