My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
