So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I currently don't understand fingers.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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