It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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