I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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