she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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