everyone is single if you try hard enough
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
