1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
