His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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