his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
