He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
