Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
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