Midget sex pt 2 tonight
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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