I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
