i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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