There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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