Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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