Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Damn victory sex feels great
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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