Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
