i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
