My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
pray to the hookup gods
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
