I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
