I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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