i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
