we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
