btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
