Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
