my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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