I am in a vortex of obligation.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
