Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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