I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
