She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Randomize