Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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