so explain again why im purple
no
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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