I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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