So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
